If Nothing Changes, Will You Still Stay?

A love letter to the body, and the hard truth of healing without guarantees

What is the threshold that tips us into complete acceptance of our bodies?

Is it when we lose the weight?

When our cycles sync up to a perfect 28 days and our moods stop riding hormonal waves?

Is it when we feel so in control that we can ignore hunger, override exhaustion, and decide when to feed or rest, nervous system be damned?

And if none of those things ever happen…

Would you still be willing to completely ground into this form?

Would you still stay if nothing changes?

Would you still choose to honor and support your body, even if you never saw any “results”?

My work has brought me into a deep relationship with my body. A deep need to honor and support my home. And it’s from that space that I’ve started to see the self-sacrificing patterns all around me.

We’ve been conditioned to ignore the needs of our bodies in the name of convenience… or empowerment… or control.

And yet, this is the age of information.

We know better.

But knowing better doesn’t mean doing better.

These are choices we have to make every single day:

Can I honor my body, even when it’s inconvenient?

Can I be present with my season, even when it would feel easier to ignore?

As I’ve watched people around me struggle to follow through on intentions or conscious choices to support their bodies, I’ve felt this massive grief.

It shows up as rage at first, but her real name is grief.

Grief for those who still can’t hear the voice of their own bodies.

Grief for all the times I didn’t listen to mine.

Grief for how long it’s taken me to truly stay.

This is a love letter to my body. And an apology note, for the times I chose ease or urgency over what she truly needed.

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So many women I talk to feel torn between not wanting to get pregnant and not wanting to flood their bodies with artificial hormones.

It’s been presented to us as empowering to have options, and it is, If we feel like we truly have a choice.

But real choice comes from a relationship with your body.

My husband and I haven’t used birth control in over three years since having our son.

He pulls out. I track, feel, listen. I won’t claim perfect knowledge of my cycle, but I am incredibly in tune. And I talk to her.

There have been moments when grief hit me like a tidal wave, grief that came from my womb, from my desire for another baby. And I let myself feel it.

Then I say:

“Not yet. I’m not ready. I cannot be the mother, business owner, and wife I want to be if I bring another life in right now. But we will. Just not yet.”

That clarity… is honored.

That communication… has built trust.

I offer castor oil packs when I feel my ovaries working overtime. I pay attention when my energy dips. I create and pour energy into projects that hold the same sacred weight as a baby.

This is what relationship looks like.

And I trust that no child will come until my body and I say yes together.

Another hard-earned lesson for me has been about rest.

How many people do you know who go and go until they crash?

Who look around at a messy house and decide they don’t deserve the rest their body is begging for?

How are we supposed to heal if our body doesn’t trust us to meet its needs?

Rest doesn’t need to be earned.

It doesn’t need to be guilt-ridden.

It just needs to be honored when the body asks.

That kind of listening doesn’t just soothe the nervous system, it rebuilds relationship.

It makes you your body’s safe space.

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Then there’s food.

So many of us were raised to believe that food is just calories. That if we want to look different, we need to eat less.

No one ever stopped to ask:

What is your body asking for?

Real nourishment means meeting the body on all levels: physically, emotionally, spiritually.

Food isn’t just fuel.

It’s medicine.

It’s pleasure.

It’s connection.

And yes, some days your body will ask for a piece of cake.

Eat the cake.

Being in a relationship means allowing space for both structure and softness.

Food becomes sacred when we stop forcing it into rules and start listening.

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I think a lot of people on the spiritual path have seen the body as separate from the soul.

As if the body is just a vehicle to “learn lessons” instead of the literal embodiment of the soul.

But we are not separate.

The body is the soul. The soul is the body.

So yes, play in the higher realms.

Channel.

Create.

Receive.

But if you’re not integrating those energies down through your whole body, you’re missing it.

There’s no bypassing this.

True integration happens in the flesh.

And as I continue this path, I’m realizing,

my body listens to me now because I’ve finally started listening to her.

So let me ask you again:

If nothing ever changed…

If there was no weight loss, no symptom reversal, no external validation of how your body looks…

Would you still stay?

Would you still choose to honor and support your body?

Is your body, your soul’s home, worthy of your acceptance as it is right now?

Would you choose this body, even if nothing ever changed?

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I won’t lie to you: this path can feel lonely.

I look around and I don’t see many people giving themselves the reverence their body deserves.

It’s hard not to see that mirrored back.

But that doesn’t make the path any less true.

It doesn’t make my body any less sacred.

So I want to leave you with this:

What if your body isn’t waiting to be fixed?

What if it’s just waiting to be seen?

What if trust is the most powerful medicine you can offer?

Some days, I still wish I had quick fixes. But I know myself now.

If the change came too fast, I wouldn’t respect it the same.

I might never have walked through the fire to understand how important this home really is.

So if you're ready, walk this path with me.

May the medicine I offer help you see your body for all that it is, and give it the support it’s been asking for.

May you offer yourself the love and acceptance you’ve been searching for all along.